:::Ayu’s Little Black Book:::

Today is supposed to be my greatest, excellent, perfect, wonderful, amazing day of all, but at the end, one simple mistake that I did almost ruined the whole thing. I started today pretty smoothly, woke up around 5.30 am, and got up to bed and took a shower around 6.45 and got ready to work just before 7.45. And at work, all of sudden Yeimi called me at work, what a suprise, finally after hundreds times trying to call her house, we found each other. We talked a bit, and bad news for her, she doesn’t work any longer cause she got a problem with her SSN. Afterall, I promised I would come to see her and the guys on Monday. Should be interesting.

Then, Morne showed me a letter with a picture of some customers and us (Kim, Morne, Z, and I) about a month ago, when these customers were having a big anniversary party. I had so much fun with them, and so did they. So, they wrote to Anelle about their apreciation toward us for that night. I was so happy, it really made my day. I smiled all the time, like I was in love (that what Morne said). I mean, it feels so good when you make someone happy, then you become happy yourself.

Then, I finally saw Marc. After few days not seeing him, and being worried about him, I finally saw him. To be honest, I missed him a lot when he’s not home, so, again, it made my day.

Another thing, I (finally) got my dvds that I rented for free from Netflix. Gosh, it took 3 days to get those dvds. So, I felt so relieved.

Then I got off work, came home, grabbed my bike to go to Summit to talk to Neil. Eventually Chef was there. What a coincidence. And as usual, he made fun of me. How I miss that guy, but, I would see him again soon.

I arrived home, made myself some rice to save for dinner, and went to my room to watch one of the dvds. And I picked the Holiday, cause I thought it was kinda a chick flick, and I don’t think I can watch it with Belinda n Marc. And that movie is awesome. Jude Law was great, lovely, and I fell for him hahaha. I loved they way he saw Cameron in that flick. He made my heart melt.

And, after seeing that movie, I made myself a good dinner, well, just tuna fried rice though. And after that as like any other Friday evenings, The 70’s show’s time!! I love that show. Topher is totally cute. I got to see him soon in Spiderman 3.

Then, this guy came home and showed up. We had a little chit chat over the bar in the kitchen, while he was having beer. We talked, and I realized I tried to hard to get myself closer to him as it was. And I just told him that he looked like he’s gained weight, and he sounded a little pissed, then walked away. Damn, haven’t seen him for days, then I made a stupid mistake. Yeah I blew off my exciting day! Almost, but yeah part of it. But afterall, I think all I can do now just back off of him a little bit. Not trying too hard, just be myself. It’s really frustating, when the last person that you thought would be the best person you can count on turned to be the last person you wanna hang out with. But I still see him as a big bro anyhow.

Skrg nih aku doyan bgt ngublek2 dapur. Klo ga bikin sesuatu ato cuman cuci piring, ato bersihin kulkas. Dan ini dah berlangsung 2 bulanan ini, hobi nongkrong di dapur ini diperparah setelah aku pulang dari menghilang 4 hari di rmh Yeimi. Waktu di rmh Yeimi, aku ngerasa klo masak tuh jd kulturnya mereka. Biarpun baru pulang kerja, capek2, tp yg namanya masak n makan di rmh bareng2 dah keharusan. Aku jadi ngerasa bagian dari keluarga mereka bgt bareng Yeimi, Carlos (pacar) n Angel (adeknya Yeimi). Jadi belajar sesuatu yg baru waktu tinggal bareng ama mereka (selain bhs spanish tentunya).

Tp benernya hobi ngutak atik dapur udah ada sejak dulu sih. Dan setelah aku pindah ke rmh ini, dgn persediaan sisa makanan yg mayan memadai, tiap hari otakku selalu mikir hr ini mau makan apa ato masak apa. Sampe2 aku males bgt makan di resto, jd tiap hari manajerku selalu nanyain napa kok ga pernah ngeliat aku makan. Wah mereka sih jarang2 liat aku makan di tmpt kerja, tp klo di rmh, kerjaannya ngutak atik dapur, ampe jungkir balik deh (hmm agak berlebihan seh klo sampe dibilang jungkir balik hahaha). Dan hasilnya tada….tiap aku makan masakan sendiri, aku ngerasa puas bgt, soalnya hasilnya selalu memuaskan. I really enjoy cooking. Kpn hari tuh smpt masak kari ayam n telor n walopun rada keasinan enak jg tuh karinya (bukannya aku pengen kawin loh, ntar ada yg ge-er klo tau aku pengen kawin hauhauhau). Trus kmrn barusan bikin spaghetti terenak di dunia huahauha. Bener2 sukses! Jadi pengen buka depot nih ntar balik ke Indo. Ato aku mesti kerja di kafenya Dodol aja ya, ato mgkn kafenya Novan, ato kafe tmpt kerjanya Dek Ajenk utk jd tukang masak :p.

mierda!!! mierda!!! (wah moga2 ga ada yg tau artinya apaan). Barusan ringkes2 kamar n ringkes2 koper n baju2. Pengen milah2 mana baju yg bakal dipake musim ini, n nyimpen baju2 winter, eh lha kok aku ga nemu my pink fila snow hat yg aku beli di reno, di marshall kpn hari, yg harganya cuma 1 dollar. Iyah beneran harganya cuma 1 dollar, murah bgt kan. Trus aku beli topi warna biru gelap buat cowo yg harganya 2 dollar. N waktu itu aku beliin buat Daniel. Duh sampe senewen aku, soalnya ingetku setelah aku pulang dr Philly, tuh topi ga pernah aku pake lg. Ga inget klo sampe bisa2nya ilang. Duh..duh sebel jdnya…abisnya tuh topi kiyut bgt, mana warnanya pink lg, n yg lbh bikin sayang tuh dah murah, punya banyak memori pula hix hix hix…duhhh kemana yaaahhh topinya…..

Akhirnya aku pindah jg ke mantan kamarnya Gabor. It’s pretty nice, kecil tp cukup comfy walopun ga ada closet. But, I hate the bathroom. Prefer to use downstair’s bathroom, where I used to use. And..hari ini pertama kalinya ngobrol ama Mr. Dreusike setelah berhari2 ga ngobrol. Ah..he used to be my crazy American King (just because he used to call me his little Indonesian queen). I don’t think we will ever be close like we used to be unless something happens. We’ll see. And seems I’ll be home alone for couple days again next week, cause The Martians (he calls his Mom The Martians!! how weird is that) will come and drive him to Sac and they’re gonna have a family dinner party to celebrate mother’s day. I wish I could come with, I’ve never been to Sac, that would be lovely.

Bbrp hari ini aku suka bgt buka2 fsnya temen2ku (maklum lg nganggur di rmh n ga ada temen, jd maen internet terus). Dari fs itu aku banyak tau klo banyak bgt tmn2ku yg rencana mau nikah deket2 ini. Mulai dari temen kul si Lisa n Jere yg dah netapin tanggal antara akhir Januari n awal Februari 2008. Trus si Bram, temen dari sd sampe sma, denger2 bakal nikah sekitar bulan Juli/Agustus 2008 jg. Trus Arif n Dian yg kayaknya dah tinggal netapin tanggal. Trus si Hilmi yg mgkn jg lg nentuin tanggal n nunggu trainingnya si Hilmi yg di Jepang selesai. Selain nama2 diatas, kayaknya masih banyak temen2ku yg bakal nyusul deh. Ray n Iva tuh kayaknya dah tinggal nunggu ilham aja (alah bahasane rek), trus Melly n pacarnya si Yongky. Trus kayaknya temen2 sma ato smp yg dah lama ga kontak2an mulai banyak yg rencana melanjutkan hidup ke jenjang yg lebih complicated.

Nah skrg, tinggal akunya nih yg bakal ngenes ditanya2in kpn nyusul. Denger kata "pernikahan" n ngeliat temen2 dah pada mulai nikah ato mikir ke arah sana, bikin aku mikir ke 2 hal yg berbeda. Di satu pihak bikin iri, di pihak laen bikin ngeri. Nah loh aneh kan. Tapi iya sih, irinya kok kayaknya abis married, hidupnya dah settle ya, ga nyari2 lg, ga bingung2 mo ngapain soalnya toh kehidupan yg bakal dijalani ya udah di depan mata. Ngerinya, aku ngerasa setelah married tuh qta bakal stuck. Hidup ya cuma berkutat soal keluarga, n kerjaan. Tapi klo dah berkeluarga, kerjaan jd hal nomer 2, yg mana, kreatifitas di kerjaan kayaknya kurang bisa dimaksimalkan krn ya lagi2 mesti mikir soal keluarga.

Satu contoh nih, aku inget bgt Bapakku dulu menolak utk dipindah ke Jerman, gara2 waktu itu aku msh kecil. Pokoknya pertimbangannya keluarga. Trus ibuku pernah nolak utk dipindah ke Singapore gara2 adekku yg paling kecil sakit. Trus inget cerita2nya Ana, walopun kehidupan pernikahannya baek2 aja, tp dia cukup banyak masalah ama mertua, dan hal itu bener2 membuat aku bersyukur bgt aku belum nikah atau punya anak. Dan kehidupanku skrg yg rasanya menyenangkan, mau ngapa2in bisa seenaknya sendiri, bisa ngontrol diri sendiri tanpa perlu mengontrol ato dikontrol org laen. Rasanya kehidupan yg bener2 spt apa yg aku inginkan. Cuma pertanyaannya nih, mau sampe kapan? Nah itu tinggal waktu yg bakal menentukan.

Setelah menunggu berbulan2 (aduh paling cuma 2 bulanan), aku akhirnya bisa menikmati (emang makanan?) foto2ku n Daniel yg ketinggalan di pcnya Dudu di Philly. Ah Dudu emang adekku yg paling keren, mau2nya aku mintain tolong utk upload smua foto2 yg ada di foldernya Dani. And hasilnya 818 pics n 11 videos haha. tp ntah gmn caranya foto2 dr cameranya Dani yg diambil di downtown Philly tuh pada kedobelan semua. Klo ga dobel ya paling2 600an, hehehe tetep banyak ya.

Oh ya si Marc blom balik. Masih melanglang ntah kemana. Enak yah dia having fun, sedangkan aku ditinggal sendirian. Awas aja klo pulang. Hix hix kangen nih..ga enak bgt sendirian di rmh yg segede ini.

Aduh sebel, pagi2 online, eh si Ana malah ga nongol, dek Ajenk jg ga ada, si Lukman menghilang. Padahal di otakku ini banyak bgt hal yg pengen aku omongin ama mereka. Mulai dari rencana qta ketemuan ama Ana bulan depan, soal barang titipanku, trus soal Oscar yg kpn hari mampir ke rmh, n nggosipin soal Jul yg barusan punya kucing, soal Marc yg dr kmrn menghilang, dan laen sebagainya.

Oh ya, aku ngerasa makin aneh tinggal ber2 ama Marc, walopun benernya I enjoy it. Bayangin, sejak semua orang pergi, n tinggal kita berdua (officially ada 2 orang lagi, tp mereka jarang nongol di rmh) hubungan qta malah makin jauh. Kita malah jarang ngobrol, ga pernah guyonan lagi, bener2 aneh. Padahal dulu pas lg rame n banyak orang di rmh, qta malah deket bgt sampe2 digosipin hheuhue, eh skrg kayak orang baru kenal aja. N kmrn dia menghilang ntah kemana, mgkn ke rumah Greg. Tp pas dia menghilang, aku ya pas ngilang ke Summit jg n ga bilang2 ama dia sih. Rasanya kesepian bgt di rmh yg segede ini sendirian. Pengen bgt mengembalikan keadaan qta yg kayak dulu. Apa karena qta sama2 Gemini jadi ujung2nya sama2 menolak, bukannya tarik menarik (eh apa hubungannya coba?).

Btw,aku excited bgt nih soal Ana yg mau kesini. Aku mikir ini saatnya aku bisa travelling keluar kota setelah bulan ini "cuti" ga kemana2. Abis diitung2 sejak bulan Januari sampe April, tiap bulan at least aku pergi keluar kota ato bahkan keluar state (eh tp klo cuma ke Reno walopun keluar state ga diitung). Maksudnya travelling gitu. Ah jadi kangen ama yg di Curitiba. Gmn kabarnya ya? kok dia ga telpon n ga bales imel. Apa harus aku telpon lg? Mana lg bokek ga ada duit nih, mau telpon2 ya kok mikir2. Apalg bntr lg Hari Ibu (disini hari Ibu tgl 13 Mei) n tgl 16nya Ibu ultah. Jadi mending pulsa disave buat telpon ibu aja deh.

Sejak ditinggal pergi ama Gabor, aku ngerasa hubunganku ama Marc semakin aneh. Tiap hari n tiap saat ketemu, tp herannya malah makin jauh. Bayangin tinggal satu atap, n menghabiskan waktu bareng2, tp rasanya bener2 jaauhhh bgt. Ngobrol pun rasanya ga sebebas dulu. Aduh pokoknya aneh bgt, jadi takut mo ngobrol ama dia. Ada apa dengan hubungan kita??? Pas kita cuma berdua malah jauh, lha pas lg rame n banyak orang qta kayak pasangan mesra. Eh ya ga sampe kayak perfect couple gitu sih, cuma ya deket bgt sampe waktu itu banyak yg nggosipin heuheuhe. Skrg malah aneh, ketika qta ber2 stuck di rumah ga bisa ngapa2in. Ngobrol jg cuma sekali2, tiap hari diem2an. Aduuhhh ada apa sih??? mi vida es muy aborrida!!!Ah jd senewen….

Aduh akhir2 ini kangen bgt ama masakan Indo. Kpn hari sampe liat website yg jual bahan2 makanan indo sampe bikin ngiler, sampe nyaris bikin list yg klo emang bnr2 aku mau pesen mungkin bisa abis 100 dollar yg cuma gara2 kangen bgt ama makanan Indo. Mulai dari sambel, kecap, agar2, sampe kacang 2 kelinci.

Blom lagi hobiku yg suka liat2 resep masakan yg ujung2nya ya ngeliat resep2 masakan Indo. Aduh otakku rasanya langsung bertebaran image2 masakan Indo n lidahku sampe ngerasain n ngebayangin rasanya masakan2 itu. Gila yah, saking cintanya. Pengen masak tp bahan2nya aja mahal krn ya kebanyakan mesti beli di website yg jual barang2 Indo. Ato klo untung ya cari di toko2 yg jual bahan2 makanan Asia, tp mahalnya itu loh. Trus blom lg repot n males masaknya, soalnya ga ada atmostfir yg mendorong aku utk masak. Klo di rmh dulu rasanya lebih homey gitu, n bahan2 jg biasanya dah tersedia di dapur, tinggal manfaatin aja. Kira2 ada yg punya obat utk mengobati rasa kangen ini ga? Nyaris ga tertahankan nih.

Aneh ya, ditinggal Marc 2 hari pergi tanpa pamit kok rasanya rumah sepi bgt. Pdhl klopun ada dia, qta toh ya ga terlalu sering ngobrol, laen bgt kayak dulu2 pas di rmh msh rame bnyk orang. Justru ketika ga ada orang n cuma qta ber2 di rmh, eh qta malah kayak orang asing. Kangen ngobrol ama dia, tp ga tau jg mau ngobrol apaan, apalg modelnya dia (yg kata Julia preman abis) mau ngajak ngobrol ya hesitant gitu. Mending diem aja. Qta jg dah jarang bersentuhan (literally meaning), yg mksdnya qta biasa suka maen "wrestling", pukul2an, ato saling mijit pas lg nonton tv, trus akhirnya berpelukan kayak Teletubbies. Skrg jangankan bersentuhan, ngobrol aja ga pernah. Suasana rumah jd tambah aneh. Kangen nih ama dia. He’s the only person I can trust n I can rely on now. Tp eniwei, I’ll be fine with or without him.